Cake Loving Asian Twins Required

As much fun as Whistler was, as hot and dreamy as Barbados is, London ensures you never forget it’s a city where anything can happen and usually does. Where else in the world can your evening start with karaoke, full nudity, (in a public space and not on my part I should add), more wigs than a cancer care unit and a tambourine and end on an even more interesting/exciting, (and unpublishable) note. I love it.

It was great to be back home - seven whirlwind days of booze, good food, (loving Quo Vadis/disappointed by an overpriced Sophie’s in Covent Garden) fabulous shoes, (I need never watch another episode of Trisha now I have my Lanvins to excite me) and fabulous company. Despite the hectic social calendar in between Moscow mules and Pisco sours I managed to finalise a few more of the practicalities of the next few months, including the commission of my bespoke costume for the Samba parade in Rio.

Now while I’m not exactly sure what the name is in English I appear to be some sort of glittery, bikini-clad water-nymph, (think slightly slutty, transvestite, Ariel The Little Mermaid and you’re in the right kettle of fish). I’ve also obtained my Chinese visa for Shaolin, paid an unsavoury visit to the Job Centre and scored myself a few little freelance gigs. Largely to avoid a second visit to the Job Centre and in a vague attempt to keep the bank manager happy, (or from topping himself with a letter opener at the office Christmas party as may be the case). And so, equipping myself with all the latest high tech gadgetory, (Imac, Iphone, that one application only sunscreen stuff) I’ve set up office on the veranda of our villa, (see pic 1).

Of these projects the one that’s occupying much of my tanning time over the festive period is organising a 40th birthday party for a dear old friend of mine. Simple enough you might think - pub, booze, food, cake, midnight visit to Rhinos, however this friend puts on parties for a living so expectations are considerably higher than a few sausages on sticks in the back room at the Bethnal Green Social Club.

The upside of the commission is having free reign with a sizeable budget and full use of the Aston/Range Rover/Chopper as required, the downside is actually organising the thing. So if anyone knows where I can find a snow making machine, 250 trilbys at cost and a set of Asian twins happy to spend half an evening inside a cake do please get in touch.